


Beauty in the Madness

by hallelujahfunkiez



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Canonical Child Abuse, Chemistry, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Homicide, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Inspired by Art, Multi, Murder Mystery, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pregnancy, Teenagers, brief sex scenes is what i mean, child birth, fulfilling a legacy, he was soft back then, i was given permission dont hurt me lol, idk how chemistry works lol, im elaborating on someone's work, not a good one though, not a lot of smut though, not my original story, sebastian was not ready to witness his sons be born, this story is more than that though, yoel.o.fellow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-14 07:09:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17503961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hallelujahfunkiez/pseuds/hallelujahfunkiez
Summary: Sebastian Jacob Niccals grows up alongside a female friend he met one day after tripping her on his way to school. Somehow, they become friends and eventually fall in love despite one another's issues.The story of Murdoc's mother and the life she lived with her husband, Sebastian.A majority of this story is inspired and pulled from Yoel.O.Fellow's comics and artwork of Sebastian and his wife. So any similarities you might see in here are completely intentional. I was granted permission from Yoel.o.Fellow before publishing this !!





	1. muddy memories

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone and welcome to this sadfest.  
> I am not a very good writer my apologies.  
> I hope everyone likes this so i'll actually be motivated to write more chapters lol  
> idk what im talking about anymore so enjoyyyyyy
> 
>  
> 
> ((slight trigger warning for Child Abuse in this chapter. Nothing too major, but be cautious if you are easily triggered !))

Sebastian Jacob Niccals was a man of perplexity. The young lad was born into a family of the middle class in Stoke-on-Trent, at small, grimy town known for its high rate in criminal activity. It was in the streets of this town Sebastian learned to fend for himself quite early on. On the days he wasn't in school, the small, scrawny boy could be found hanging around the thugs and punks, dabbling in petty theft and smoking. He carried himself as a prideful, arrogant person who cared very little for anyone, or anything for that matter.  
Life has a funny way of switching things up on the oddest of people.  
Sebastian departed from his home early in the morning, headed off for school. He slung his backpack over one shoulder, allowing the other strap to flap against his back with every step he took. It was always dismal in Stoke-on-Trent, clouds filled the sky with storms, and the streets were always wet from rain. Sebastian walked briskly, eyeing a large puddle that was a few feet ahead of him. He broke into a run and jumped into it, muddy water shooting up into the air on both sides of him. He chuckled, his shoes coated in black mud and soaked with water. He didn't mind though. Filth always made him happy.  
As a toddler, Sebastian's parents were hardly around to care for his social needs. His father, usually at his self-owned car dealership, ripping off wide-eyed, first-time car owners with shitty cars disguised by shiny paint and new tires, never poured an ounce of affection into his only-child. His mother, although soft and thin, could deal out a beating almost as painful as the ones he received from his father. Because of the neglect, he would spend his afternoons in the yard, digging up dirt and seeing what laid beneath it. He would sometimes collect worms in a pail, naming each one and playing with them for hours on end. This was the extent of Sebastian's social life, but in his heart he never really minded. He always felt a strong connection to life other than people, and he swore he could talk and be understood by the animals he encountered during his early life. His father would mock him.  
"Jacob, why th'bloody hell are y'talkin' to a piss pot full of worms?" The sharpness of his father's words startled him as he turned to face his father.  
"I-I'm not! It's nothin'!" He protested, shaking his hands defensively. His head already fuzzy from anxiety. His father would continue, sighing exasperatingly.   
"I've got a loon for a son! A didn't raise you to be a soddin' mental, now did I?" He pushed his sleeves up around his elbows, quickly approaching and lifting Sebastian up in the air by his shirt collar. Sebastian kicked his legs and clung to his father's hand, trying desperately to not choke.  
"I swear to God, Jacob, I wish you were never born, you worthless sack of shit. Not even those damn worms would want you as their child!" He threw the boy back to the dirt, earning a pained grunt from the child as he rubbed his head that had knocked against the ground. His father scooped up the pail of worms Sebastian had collected over the course of the afternoon, and pulled the lad to his feet.   
"Come with me boy. I'll show you what the worms are good for." He dragged Sebastian to the front of the house, a flock of crows lurking ominously in the street. His father tossed the boy to the ground once again, then grinned evilly.  
"Your friends ain't nothing more than food for the birds." He growled. Sebastian leaped to his feet, trying with all his might to take the pail back from his father, but to no avail. With a single motion of his hand, his father threw the plastic bucket into the street, spilling the worms onto the black asphalt. The crows move in, brutally scooping up and devouring the worms as Sebastian watched in horror.   
"You're a freak, Jacob. Now go get that bucket and go to your room." His father turned and stormed off into the house.   
Sebastian was stunned. He slowly wobbled into the street to retrieve the bucket, dragging it behind him as he headed back towards the house. That incident instilled in him a lack of trust. It would be the last time he would ever trust anyone again.

 

"Are you kidding me?! You got mud all over my clothes!" A voice shook Sebastian from his daze, as he stood in the muddy puddle he had just jumped into. His gaze met a thin girl, angrily trying to rub the mud from her white petticoat and shirt. He recognized the clothes immediately. A Sodsworth Comprehensive School uniform. He didn't recognized the girl though, but approached her nonetheless.  
"S-Sorry. Let me help you.." He spoke awkwardly, reaching out to her shirt and rubbing his hand down the entire front. To this, the girl gasped in shock. Sebastian's eyes widened as he stepped back.  
"Th-That wasn't! I d-didn't mean to!" He tried helplessly to explain his good intentions, but the girl simply scoffed.   
"Forget it! You are just lucky my brother isn't here to beat you up!" She gloated, proudly. An irritated look formed on Sebastian's face. The girl grabbed her book bag and began to walk towards the school, and Sebastian decided to express his distaste.

So, he stuck his leg out in front of her.  
She yelped as she fell, falling flat onto her face, scraping it as she did so. Sebastian's eyes widen in delight as she fell so quickly. He chuckled loudly. The girl sat up, glaring angrily as she adjusted her glasses.   
"Oh that does it!" She exclaimed and began to get to her feet. Sebastian grinned and booked it, sprinting for his life as he headed towards the school. He couldn't explain the rush he got when he got himself into trouble, but this made him feel so alive. Finally he reached the school, ducking behind a wall as the girl caught up. She slowed down, catching her breath. She groaned in annoyance before visibly giving up and fixing her clothes so she might be slightly presentable in her first class of the day. Sebastian waited until the bell rang, then left his hiding spot to report to class.  
The hallways of the school were the cleanest place Sebastian had ever stepped foot it. The school itself was impressive, which was strange since after all, his parents did hate him. It was possibly because of this hatred they put him the nicest, free school there was in the town. They believed the faster he finished school and the better he did, the sooner he would be out of their lives forever. It was a painful, but honest truth and Sebastian no longer cared.

After procrastinating long enough, he reached his first class: Chemistry. He despised the class, but found it pretty easy to pass on account of the dependency of lab partners. He had a promising system for passing: Always pick the smartest kids. He slowly pushed open the door, not surprised to see the entire class turned to see him entering. His eyes shot to the floor as he swiftly made his way to his seat. His eyes remained glue to the floor as the teacher scoffed and returned to the lesson. Sebastian normally spaced-out during the lessons, never being able to understand what the teacher was talking about anyways. Suddenly, the sounds of children excitedly chittering filled the room. Must be time to select lab partners for the unit. His eyes slowly rose from the floor as he scanned the room to see who was already paired. As he searched, his eyes rested upon one person and his heart stopped. It was the girl from earlier. She saw him staring, grinning ominously as she walked towards him. He was frozen to his seat, not in actual fear, but in anticipation.  
She stood in front of his table, before taking his arm and pulling him to his feet.  
"Sebastian, isn't it?" She spoke sweetly. "I'll pair up with you!"   
Sebastian stared at her for a long time before managing to speak.  
"But uh, I tripped you earlier, remember?" The girl simply smiled and laughed.  
"Sure, but a little dirty never hurt anybody, right?" Sebastian was shocked, but allowed the small girl to guide him to her lab table, sitting next to her hesitantly. She held her head in her hands, looking at Sebastian thoughtfully.   
"We have to successfully extract DNA from one of our bodies." She recited the prompt just how the teacher had said it, smiling softly at the boy. "Now, should we pull the sample from me or you?" Sebastian sat back in his seat, shrugging his shoulders. The girl rolled her eyes and reached across the table for a cue-tip and abruptly shoving it into Sebastian's mouth. He yelped in surprise as the girl swirled it around a few times before removing it, then unceremoniously plopping it into a graduated cylinder. Sebastian felt a heat creep onto his face before swallowing and turning to quietly watch the girl at work.  
After a little while, she spoke again.  
"Sebastian, why don't you try measuring and distributing the chemicals this time?" He tensed up at the proposition, smiling uncomfortably.  
"Ah, I can't. I don't even understand this stuff." He shook his hands bashfully, but the girl insisted.  
"Oh c'mon! I'll help you!" She handed him the beaker and the measuring cup, which he took into his shaking hands.  
"Now measure 2 mL of the alcohol, and put it into the beaker." Sebastian focused very hard on the glass containers, slowly pouring the alcohol into the measuring cup and pouring it into the graduated cylinder. He sat back when he was done and waited to see her reaction. Suddenly, the water turned a light shade of violet, and he felt his face turn white. Embarrassed, he began to apologize.  
"S-see? I told you I have no idea-"   
"SEBASTIAN! THAT WAS BRILLIANT!" The girl cheered, earning the attention of the teacher who made his way to their table. He examined the cylinder, and nodded with approval.  
"Good work, Niccals. Keep in up." He spoke kindly before walking away. He blushed at the compliment.  
"I knew you could do it, Sebastian!" The girl embraced him from the side, making him stiffen in fear. She noted this and without a word, pulled away. 

As they wrapped up their thesis, the bell rang. They packed up their things and headed down the hallway.   
"When I hugged you back there, you seemed uncomfortable." She said suddenly, throwing Sebastian off guard. He scratched his head as he spoke.  
"Oh? I-I didn't realize I came off that way." He spoke, knowing very well that he tended to come off in such a way. She stood in front of him, grabbing both of his forearms.   
"Listen, I know we just met, but we're friends now. Don't be afraid to tell me if I do something that upsets you." She stared into his eyes, but Sebastian swore she could see right through them. He smiled a little and nodded, running his tongue over his teeth awkwardly. The bell finally rang, relieving Sebastian from such an awkward moment. The girl let go of him, but still stared.  
"Meet me in the courtyard after school. We can hang out until the sun goes down." She waved goodbye, leaving Sebastian stunned by her abruptness. Within seconds, she disappeared into the crowd of students, but she seemed to meander in the forefront of Sebastian's mind for the remainder of the school day.


	2. It's Gonna Be a Bright, Bright Sunshine-y Grey Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ((TW FOR DESCRIPTIONS OF VIOLENCE AND GORE))  
> ((gun violence and physical abuse. please read with caution))
> 
> its sad but the end is cute i guess uwu

       The rest of the day seemed to drag on for years. Sebastian didn't obtain much of what he was being taught that day, especially in Literature. He recalled something about a lawyer and his kids, a tree filled with useless garbage from a creepy neighbor's yard, and some kind of bird. He couldn't quite remember the type of bird it was. Blue Jay? Pigeon? Why did it even matter? Sebastian had always hated literature. He didn't want to spend his time reading about other people's happy endings. It was always about some rich prick who got the girl and saved the day, and that really ticked him off. He swore the privileged loved to shove it in his face sometimes.

      As the late-afternoon slowly crept into Stoke-on-Trent, Sebastian made his way to the front of the school as promised. For some reason, he felt nauseated. Nothing like meeting up a with a pretty girl to get the heart pumping. He slowed his pace as he caught sight of her, leaning against the wall and staring out the front window. He felt his face heat up as he froze to the spot where he stood. He was so caught up in her beauty he hardly noticed the people bumping into him in a desperate attempt to leave for the afternoon. She looked so lovely with the grey sky behind her. It reminded him of how the sun would sometimes peak through the heavy clouds, sending beams of light cascading down to the Earth. So much beauty tangled in the madness of it all. He sighed a little, thinking,  _"That must be how she looks when she stands next to me. A juxtaposition of gloom and joy."_ He shook the thought away and sucked in a deep breath as he headed over to her.

      "H-Hey..." He stammered, causing her to turn and face him.

      "Why hello, Sebastian." She chirped, offering a smile. She looked tired. Actually, she looked exhausted, sort of how his mother looked whenever his father was home.

      "You...You sure you want to hang out? Y-You look beat." He spoke cautiously, not wanting to offend her. She blinked a few times before reassuring him.

       "Oh no! I'm just fine! Guess class today got me a little too excited." 

 Sebastian cocked a brow at this, and pursed his lips.

      "Here. How's about I just walk you home?" He offered his arm to her, which she took gratefully. He led her out the front door and down the path that led to the path headed for town. 

     They didn't talk for awhile. Sebastian simply couldn't find the words to say. She seemed far off in her own mind, yet Sebastian took no note of this.

      "I wish i could see the sun." She finally spoke, gazing up into the sky. Sebastian let out a harsh chuckle.

 "Sunshine? In Stoke-on-Trent?" He still stopped and matched her gaze into the swirling grey mess that was the sky, trying to remember the last time he saw a sunny day.

 

He was eight years old that day.

      He had gone to the store with his mother on a warm, Saturday evening. She rarely took him along with her for these types of things, but he remembered her being so gentle that day. When he had gotten the guts to ask to accompany her on her run, she simply smile and said 'Okay'.

      They walked into town, a crowd of movers and shakers going from place to place as they went about their duties. Sebastian's mother led him into a small grocery store, and dragged him to the back where the alcohol was. Now, this section was on high security due to the large amount of theft the store had been experiencing. Along with this, they did not allow children to enter the section, which was blocked by a door and a security guard who decided who could and could not enter. Because of this, his mother led him to a small bench that sat right beside the room. She sat him down, grabbing him by the shoulders and gazing sternly into his eyes.

       "Stay put, Jacob. I'll be back in a little bit. Whatever you do, do not leave this area. Understand?"

  Sebastian nodded, his small voice responding with a "Yes mum". She left him there, alone and vulnerable.

 

The world is cruel to the innocent.

      A loud crash emanated from across the store, near the entrance. Suddenly, a dirty, scrawny man appeared in front of Sebastian, who widened his eyes at the sudden commotion. It wasn't long before the person the man was running from caught up with him, cursing and breathing heavily.

      "C'mon! I said give me more time! I swear you'll get the money!" He put his hands in the air as the other man pulled out a hand pistol. Quiet wheezes were escaping the targeted man as his mouth hung ajar in fear. Some bystanders ran, others were frozen to their spots and could do nothing but watch.

      "Oh no. You're out of time, slag. Pay up or bleed out. Your choice.

Silence followed this threat, tension thick enough to be cut with a knife. Sebastian felt his breath hitch, his knees clanking together in fear. Finally, the man spoke.

      "Chief! I-I don't got the money.."

      Suddenly, everything slowed down. It was as if the sound of the trigger being pulled forced the Earth to slow in its orbit. Sebastian had no time to react, his eyes glued to the scene before him. He watched in horror as the bullet pierced the man's skull, resulting in a backwards explosion of brain matter spraying onto the walls behind him. His ghastly body crashed to the floor and blood sputtered from the entrance wound like a fountain.

      People were screaming and crying, running for their lives. The shooter vanished just as fast as he had pulled the trigger. Sebastian's head was ringing and he was in shock. After a moment, his body began to shake as thick tears poured from his eyes and dribbled down his face. Next thing he knew his mother was crouched before him, shaking him to try and wake him from his state.

      "Jacob! What are you doing we have to go now! Get up!" She pulled him to his feet and dragged him out the front door and down the street for home. He couldn't feel his legs as he walked. He couldn't hear the bustling sounds of his city. All he could feel was a tingling in his bones and an intense heat beaming onto his skin from the sun. Before he knew it, they were home.

     Upon entering the house, his mother did something she had never done before. She pulled Sebastian to her chest, stroking her thin fingers through his hair.

       "Oh Jacob...My dear son..." She sighed out, her breathing sounding shaky and quiet. He let his guard down and melted into her motherly touch, closing his eyes and softly crying into her warm embrace. She spoke for a long time, trying to explain things and comfort the boy, but all Sebastian could really remember from that moment was the sun peering into the room from the fluttering curtains next to them. 

       "It's so sunny outside, Mama." He croaked hoarsely. His mother began to cry as he said this. Her grip tightened on him.

 "See? I-It's the middle of winter and it's s-so sunny out..." Suddenly, his mother shoved him away, sobbing as she rushed up the stairs. He didn't know what to do. The image of violence and the sound of murder echoed in his head. All he could do was crawl onto the sofa and fall asleep.

 

       "...Sebastian? Hey, Sebastian...!" The girl spoke louder this time, the feeling of her warm hand pressed against his forehead startling Sebastian out of his thoughts.

"Thought I lost you there. You okay?" She asked softly. He nodded.

       "Yeah. Guess I lost my train of thought for a second." The girl smiled emphatically, pulling him towards a tree.

    "Let's sit for awhile."

 

      They sat and talked for hours. Sebastian opened up about his desire to make money and prove his parents wrong by moving to Paris to work as an architect. The small girl shared her love for music and science. They talked about their families, their pass times, their hopes and dreams. Sebastian would probably have never stopped talking if the feeling of the girl's head falling onto his shoulder didn't alert  him. He looked down, blushing and biting his lip nervously as she fell asleep. He reached down, placing his hand on top of hers. He wanted to stay there in that moment for the rest of night, but noticed the sun was falling and didn't want her to get in trouble. So, he scooped her up bridal-style and headed into town.

     He had no idea where she lived, but was hoping she might wake before he could admit he was lost. As he entered the town, a man and woman stopped in their tracks and began to run towards Sebastian at full speed. His stomach flipped in fear as he had no where to hide. 

      "You!!" The man growled angrily, grabbing his forearm and forcefully taking the girl from him. His eyes widened as he tried to pull away from the man. The girl woke with a start and fell onto the ground with a loud crash. The woman rushed to her side and helped her up. They were clearly her parents. The father wasn't finished with Sebastian yet.

      "What th'hell were you doing with my daughter, eh? Don't you ever touch her again, you slag! You don't deserve to breath the same air as her!" He punctuated with a nasty punch to the eye which caused Sebastian to fall onto his rear. The girl screamed.

     "Dad! He was helping me! He didn't touch me I swear!" She grabbed his arm and forced him to look at her.

 "I was so tired after school I decided to take a rest on the way home, but I fell asleep. Sebastian saw me and carried me home knowing you guys were probably looking for me! It's my fault, not his!" She spoke fast, Sebastian left on the ground in a hazy, yet impressed mess. The man met his gaze again.

      "S'that true?" He asked cautiously. Sebastian nodded vigorously. He turned to look at his daughter.

 "Let's go home. We can discuss your punishment there." The girl looked over at Sebastian, offering a smile. He liked that smile. It was devious and playful. She was a good girl, but she was one hell of a liar. 

      Sebastian pulled himself up from the ground, carrying himself on somewhat proud shoulders. He knew a beating was waiting for him at home, but something inside him made him feel like he was soaring above the clouds. His heart was on fire, but with a feeling he had never known before. All he knew was when he looked into that girl's eyes, he felt peace. When he touched her hand, he felt comfort. When she smiled at him and only him,

He felt love.

 


End file.
